Sh*t Jarrett Says

Jarrett: I’m gonna get one of those one day Franny: you really need to know what those are before you go and say stuff like that Cynthia: they’re cups girls put in their vagina to catch their period jarrett: I’m gonna get one of those one day Franny: are there some plans you haven’t told us about Jane: even if you did you wouldn’t have gotten your period they can’t give you eggs Jarrett: they can’t? Cynthia: no, where would they get them? Jarrett: from you… Cynthia&Franny&Jane: …. Jarrett: you’re inside me Cynthia.

Jarrett: “Y’all gonna make see fail my final….(to the tune of DMX Party Up)up in here, up in here”

Cynthia: Phoenix is racist

Jarrett: Just cuz of one sheriff that nobody likes

Cynthia: RACIST!

Franny: Jarrett passed that proposition.

Jarrett: Yes I did, no Idaho gonna get past my northern border.

Franny & Cynthia: wait, what?!
Jarrett: Well whatever, state is above Arizona.

Cynthia: When are the Oscars?

Franny: You’ll never know.

Jarrett: I win all the Oscars. And the Oscars go to: Jarrett Johnson for best actor, “oh thank you I want to thank my wonderful R-staff for being so supportive and Cynthia and Franny ohh that Cynthia and franny.
Cynthia & Franny: …

Cynthia: Jarrett when’s your birthday?

Jarret: Never, I don’t have a birthday.

Cynthia: did you try typing the password with spaces?

Jarret: YES! I TRIED WITH SPACE IN BETWEEN WORDS, LETTERS, UPSIDE DOWN, BACKWARDS! Calm your nuts!

Jarrett:  All right I’ll see y’all later, when I come back with my 5 loads of Laundry.

Franny: Why do you only do half a load every time?
Cynthia: Wait I have a better question, why do you have 5 loads when I’ve only seen you wear jeans and a t-shirt?
Jarrett: you have to separate each load by the colors of the rainbow, blacks, and blues.
Franny: No, as long as it’s not new the ink won’t run.

Jarrett: Well I have so many blacks and blues I should just separate them anyway.
Franny: NO Jarrett you’re wrong!!!
Jarrett: I am never wrong. I am Jarrett Johnson! Good night!

Franny: How do I invite people to like a page?
Jarrett: By deleting your Facebook. Do it.

Cynthia: How much is it?

Franny: $30

Jarrett: $30?! I could never get that much money even if I whore myself out.

Cynthia: There I made it

Jarrett: What, I’m deleting that shit. I’m calling tumblr tomorrow.

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This is going to be awesome.